Is it Domestic Violence?
You find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior. Always conscious of your own behavior and trying to appease this significant other, you find yourself making decisions that you hope will please them, not yourself. You’re always afraid of a meltdown—sometimes fearing for your physical safety. You’ve considered packing it in and leaving, but that’s complicated, too. What will your partner’s reaction be?
DV is More Than Physical Violence
If this sounds familiar, you are probably dealing with domestic violence (DV) in your life right now. So many people are under the mistaken impression that if you don’t get a bloody nose or a broken bone, it’s just an inconsequential argument. But that’s just not true! Domestic violence occurs in many ways, impacting victims emotionally, financially, and physically. Examples of DV that could result long term damage include:
- Intentionally embarrassing you in front of family and friends;
- Minimizing your accomplishments;
- Humiliating you;
- Degrading you with name-calling and negative labels;
- Intimidating as a means to get you to do what they want;
- Making you feel as though you are worthless without them;
- Withholding affection for perceived wrongs;
- Isolating you from family and friends;
- Stalking you;
- Threatening suicide if you leave;
- Requiring you to ask permission;
- Blaming you for their actions and feelings;
- Blaming their alcohol or drug use for their behavior;
- Pressuring you for sex when you don’t want it;
- Forcing you to perform sexual acts you’re not comfortable with;
- Requiring you to dress provocatively;
- Repeatedly accusing you of cheating;
- Calling you repeatedly to keep track of your whereabouts;
- Checking your phone/computer for signs of unfaithfulness;
- Showing up at your place of work or school to check up on you;
- Controlling all finances and/or refusing to allow you to work;
- Driving in a reckless manner to frighten you;
- Locking you out of the house;
- Refusing to let you leave after an argument;
- Refusing to let you get medical treatment;
- Taking the phone from you when you try to phone for help;
- Threatening to hurt your pets or kids;
- Throwing things;
- Threatening you with or without a weapon;
- Physically hurting you.
Know this
If you’ve been told that you deserve what you get, you need to know that nothing could be further from the truth. Abuse is never the victim’s fault, is never deserved, and is never acceptable. Domestic Violence is a way for abusers to control their partners, and it doesn’t go away no matter how “good” you are or how hard you try to please.
Advocating for You
The dedicated Miami domestic violence attorneys at the Law Office of Julia Kefalinos are committed to helping survivors of domestic violence make a safe escape from their lives of torment. To discuss your options, schedule a confidential consultation in our Miami office today.
Source:
un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse
